Wake Up and Smell the Coffee

A morning without coffee is like sleep. ~ unknown

I’m a very health conscious man, and as part of my fitness lifestyle I like to stick to the original four food groups; yes, those would be sugar, fat, caffeine and alcohol (not necessarily in that order). Like most health zealots, Deborah and I want to spread the Truth and in that spirit this post is about one of our passions, our favorite caffeine conveyance: coffee. Now, I’m not talking about the swill served up at Staryucks, or the blight on humanity provided at most restaurants. I’m talking about rich, dark, aromatic, smooth, fresh-ground coffee. Ladies, you don’t want this to be you:

Make your coffee this way and you can’t go wrong:

Start with a coffee press (sometimes called a French press, but as we’re patriotic at the Fairfield House we don’t cotton to such foreign terminology).  We use a Bodum 12 cup press. Okay, so Bodum is a Swiss company, but the Swiss are always neutral so I’m giving us a pass here.

For beans, we use the finest and richest available: Dunkin Donuts original whole bean coffee (sadly, I’m not getting paid to say that). Don’t skimp and don’t ever buy pre-ground coffee or you will suffer an eternity in purgatory. Perhaps that was a little extreme. Let’s just say that there is no comparison between fresh ground coffee and coffee that was ground in the distant past, perhaps sometime between the ice ages.

Since you’ll be showing excellent sense and an aversion to suffering, you’ll need a coffee grinder. You can spend as much or as little on a coffee grinder as you want, but at the end of the day they all turn coffee beans into little tiny pieces. I won’t waste your time discussing all the nuances of mills and burr grinders. We use a simple Kitchen Aid grinder because they seem to be bullet proof and the key bits come off for easy dishwashing. Also, it’s big; big enough to hold the one cup measure of beans we use for each pot of coffee (have I mentioned that we like coffee?).

I also use a precise measure to grind the beans, running the grinder for a fast count of 25; one count for each year of Deborah’s age. Ha, ha. I’m just kidding, that’s not true. Deborah is only 24.

By now you’ve leapt ahead and realized you’ll have to boil enough water to fill that coffee press. Pour the ground beans into the press. For a tasty change of pace you can toss in a teaspoon of cinnamon as well.

Once the water boils, let it set for a moment. Water at a rolling boil is actually a little too hot. Pour the water in on top of the beans and stir it up. Set the press plunger on top and wait. Wait, wait, wait. In fact, wait three to five minutes and press the plunger slowly all the way down, pushing the grounds to the bottom. Enjoy your coffee. Black. The way God intended. Deborah adds cream, which is so very, very wrong; but what can I say–when you’re in love you forgive. Note, we’re talking about cream, which makes it a pardonable offense. Never ever use milk, half and half, or heaven forbid non-dairy creamer. Let’s face it, if you’re getting a significant portion of your dietary fat from coffee, you really need to rethink your dietary choices. The only other thing that belongs in coffee in my view is Irish whiskey (preferably Paddys); that way you can complete two of the four food groups in one go.  Just remember that sugar in coffee is the work of the devil and artificial sweeteners are simply not right. That’s all there is to it. Now where did I set my coffee cup down?

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