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The Moment That Matters

January 24, 2011
by

Shelby, as you know, wouldn’t want us to get mired down and wallow in this. We should handle it the best way we know how and get on with it. That’s what my mind says, I just wish somebody would explain it to my heart. ~ M’Lynn, Steel Magnolias (by Robert Harling)

I have a collection of antique clocks displayed throughout the Fairfield House. They all work and some chime every fifteen minutes. Still time passes without much notice, stealing days, seasons, years.

Clock Face
There are moments of comfortable normality filled with insignificance that precede the instant your entire world is about to change. On Sunday, January 16, I was preparing my mother a cup of tea. I noticed there was a message on my cell phone.
Joseph, my only nephew, my Godson, my friend is dead.
The next morning  I stumbled into my kitchen after a drug induced sleep and was greeted by the cup sitting on my counter.  I held it with two hands, and stared at it’s contents for a long time.  My tears rolled down my face and splashed into the dark and cold steeped tea. If I just wished hard enough I could undo the last twenty four hours, change the last twenty-nine years. I could will a different future in those tea leaves.

From the moment I learned my sister and her husband were expecting a child, I loved him.  Joseph was the first born of the next generation on both sides of the family; God’s way of telling us life is good and should go on. I was there when he entered the world. I can vividly recall looking at him through the nursery window before his mother was wheeled out of recovery and thinking he’s perfect, a fresh start, a clean slate, a chance to get it right. The world belonged to him and it was full of promise and endless possibilities.
Less than a year later that promise was broken, when he had his first near death experience and was diagnosed with Type 1 Diabetes. He was only ten months old.

Young Joseph

I was young and naive and perhaps it was better that way because with that comes a sense of immortality, optimism, invincibility, and never-ending hope. I thought, we can beat this.
Clocks kept ticking, needles kept pricking for blood tests and insulin injections several times a day. Life continued and so did the hundreds of hospitalizations. People stepped into his world and some exited. The wild child with the uncontrollable sugar levels grew and so did his problems. A beautiful boy turned into a handsome teen who was never comfortable in his own skin or with the ebb and flow of the sugar highs and lows that consumed his daze.  The teen turned into a man without notice. There were no rites of passage. He spent most of the last decade of his life dying in hospitals and in a nursing home before finally returning where he wanted to be most, where he began his journey: in his mother’s care  while on the last frontier, dialysis.

I last saw Joseph Jan 2 – 3 at the Fairfield House for our delayed Christmas celebration.

We spent time conversing and looking at some of my antiques. He showed a special interest in my silver collection. We made plans to go treasure hunting and I recruited him as a personal picker. Although my sister often reminded me of his impending death, I remained his cheerleader, eager for him to exchange a painful existence for a passionate life.
When Joseph left, I ran out to the car and gave him a pair of silver candle stick holders he was admiring. His eyes lit up and he gave me a smile in return. He knew as I did, it wasn’t about the candle stick holders.

It was acknowledgment that he mattered more.

That I would give him the world if I could.

There have been many Steel Magnolia Moments in the last eight days.
I am now acutely aware of each fleeting moment as the deafening sound of each tick the hundred year old hands on my antique clocks remind me …

Time is passing.

This is the moment that matters.

The best time to say I love you…

The best time to show you love others…

… Is now.
Joseph

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78 Comments leave one →
  1. Anna Poole permalink
    January 24, 2011 8:18 pm

    He’s beautiful, Deborah, as a child and a young man.

    I am hurting so for you and your family.
    Peace be with you.

  2. January 24, 2011 8:23 pm

    What a beautiful boy -” I don’t know why the good and the young are taken from us, only that we hold them in our love – in that, they will not be lost…” those are the words of my husband, written we he was a teenager, eulogizing his cousin who suffered similarly to your nephew.

    I’m so sorry. It isn’t f@#$%^$# fair. I suppose it isn’t supposed to be, but that doesn’t make it hurt any less. I wish I could hug your neck. Know that I’m praying for you, as is Our Blessed Mother, and all the company of heaven.

  3. January 24, 2011 8:28 pm

    Deborah I am so sorry to hear this news. 😦
    Please know that I am saying a prayer for you tonight.
    My heart goes out to you, dear friend.

  4. January 24, 2011 8:29 pm

    I am so so sorry for your loss. There are simply no words
    Thinking of you and sending you a warm hug

  5. January 24, 2011 8:30 pm

    Dear Deborah,

    I am deeply sorry for your loss. I’ve been so concerned about you since I haven’t heard from you but I didn’t want to pry. I knew something must be wrong but I was hoping you were just busy. My heart ached for you as I read this and I can only imagine the pain and loss you feel. You and your family will be in my prayers.

    Your friend,
    Stephenie

  6. January 24, 2011 8:44 pm

    Deborah-

    I wish there were words that could express how truely sorry I am for your loss. I know this is a time of heartbreak, and want you to know that you, and your family, are in many thoughts and prayers. We may not be there to put our physical arms around you, but there are lots of mental hugs being sent, and shoulders to cry on here for you.

    Sara

  7. Terry permalink
    January 24, 2011 8:51 pm

    Oh My dear
    My heart aches for you and yours .
    I truly pray for peace,healing,comfort,and rest to come to you and all yours .
    It is so difficult t know what to say when heart ache comes .
    However the one thing I am certain of is that you are being thought about
    and lifted up in prayers. God Bless you !
    Love and hugs to you swwetie
    Until next time
    Happy Trails

  8. ellen permalink
    January 24, 2011 8:52 pm

    My heart goes out to you and your family. My memories and prayers help you at this time.
    ellen

  9. ain't for city gals permalink
    January 24, 2011 8:54 pm

    Deborah, I just can’t comment right now….this is too sad. Yet you have to know what a difference you made in his life.

  10. Mary Anne permalink
    January 24, 2011 8:54 pm

    Am so deeply sorry for you losing such a wonderful young man who meant the world to you and your family. I hope and pray that you will be able to feel peace at this time.

  11. January 24, 2011 9:02 pm

    Dear Debra, I am so very very sorry to hear of your loss. I have experienced the loss of a young loved one, and I know the pain you are feeling. I am glad for you that you had time to share with your beloved Joseph over Christmas. We had one last Christmas with my brother before he died a month later. So similar. Such pain. You and your family are in my prayers tonight. Cry as long as you need to. It’s okay to do.

    God bless you all,

    Margo

  12. Kit permalink
    January 24, 2011 9:15 pm

    My heart breaks for you and your family. I am so sorry for your loss. Sending hugs and prayers your way. Kit

  13. January 24, 2011 9:23 pm

    Aw, Deborah,

    I’m so sorry. No words. Wish I could hug you.
    And make you as many cups of tea that you need, to cry in.
    I will go now and show my family I love them.
    Ans when I see someone admiring my silver, I will give it to them, it may be the only hope they get.

    I love you, too.
    ~me

  14. January 24, 2011 9:39 pm

    Oh Deborah, my heart breaks for you and your family. I’m so very sorry. No words can make this better but know I will pray and I care.

  15. January 24, 2011 9:47 pm

    Deborah….I am so so sorry for your loss…Such a young man..it just never seems fair when you hear of someone so young losing their life…My thoughts and prayers are with you my friend…I hope you have comfort in the time you recently spent with him…
    (((((((((HUGS)))))))))))))) from your friend Sue in Atlanta

  16. Vicki permalink
    January 24, 2011 9:52 pm

    Haven’t commented lately but I feel the need to now. You know that I know…..and really, there are no healing words.

    My heart goes out to all of you. But mostly to to your sister. Losing a child who’s been a part of you since conception, is the most heart wrenching, unimaginable horror any mother can experience. The pain you feel; her’s is a billion times a billion worse. There are no words….

    Please comfort each other and remember tears are cleansing.

    And that memories will keep him with you always.

    You’re in my prayers….

    Vicki

  17. January 24, 2011 10:46 pm

    I didn’t know he liked those candle holders. Glad he got them though. Glad I got to say goodbye to him at christmas. I love you and I love Joey too. I’m comforted knowing that his spirit is free of the body that betrayed him and now he can feel nothing but love and happiness.

  18. January 24, 2011 10:49 pm

    That was a beautiful glimpse into a life unknown to us. Through your words you have strung us a lifeline of this young man. I a sorry for your loss.

    I did not know that diabetes would take a younger person.

    Blessings to you and yours as time passes through the next hours, days, months and years of grieving… I am thinking of you.

  19. January 24, 2011 11:03 pm

    Deborah,

    It seems we are both going through similar circumstances and my heart goes out to you in this time of grieving. I wish we could be by each others side and help to hold each others hand through these difficult times ahead. Take solace in the knowledge that you have so many wonderful friends sending good thoughts and prayers your way.

    Your Friend,
    V

  20. January 24, 2011 11:38 pm

    Oh Deborah, what a beautiful tribute to a very special person in your life. Just as lucky you were to have him, he was to have you. I am so sorry for your loss. I wish that there was something to ease your heartache. I would do it for you in a second!

  21. January 25, 2011 12:11 am

    Oh, Deborah, I am so so sorry for your loss. It’s just not right that young people should lose their lives at such an age. Life is not fair sometimes at all, but I pray that God will be with you through this loss. Hugs and prayers are with you.

  22. January 25, 2011 1:04 am

    Deborah, sweetheart, I am so sorry. The two of of you obviously had a special connection. I’m sure he was greatful for his visit and the chance to dream of the future. Remember to celebrate those special moments that defied his disease. I’m praying for you and the rest of the family to find peace knowing Jopseph is finally free from suffering.
    Your tearful friend,
    Dawn

  23. January 25, 2011 1:09 am

    I’ve been thinking about you recently. Sometimes there’s a fine line between e-mailing someone and letting them have their own space and time.
    I don’t know what to say other than I am so very sorry. Life isn’t fair, and I know fairness isn’t written into the book of life. But I’m sad for you. Very sorry.

  24. January 25, 2011 1:29 am

    YOu and I have spoken… and it seems that Jan 16th was a special day; as the lord called our loved ones home. Like your dear one my sister died after a 10 year battle with diabetes at the young age of 56.

    Im so sorry for your loss and hear your sorrow in your words. May the good lord hold you tight as well as your family. May the wonderful memories you have ring in your heart when you feel the saddness over- whelm you.

    Biggest of hugs GF.
    Claudia

  25. January 25, 2011 7:23 am

    Deborah…I don’t even have the words to express how much my heart hurts for your loss. I am so SO sorry. Please know I am lifting you up in prayers at this VERY moment. He was such a beautiful little boy and a fine looking young man. Losing someone hurts so much, that it takes our breath away. I remember the moment they told me my grandma died…it literally made time stand still and I could not breathe. I hope you are able to catch your breath today and remember him with joy and not sadness. I love you girl and if you need me..or just want to talk, I will email you my phone number.
    Love
    Missy

  26. January 25, 2011 10:05 am

    My heart aches for your loss. You posting, however, is a beautiful tribute. I pray for healing of hearts within your family. And yes, each moment is here to be cherished.

    Love and light,

    Sue

  27. January 25, 2011 10:05 am

    Sweet Deborah, Please know that you and your family are in my prayers. May you be surrounded with God’s love and the peace it brings.

  28. January 25, 2011 10:47 am

    Deborah, my heart goes out to you and your family. You showed your nephew that each day is special and to live it, and your love for him.

    Alaina

  29. Amanda permalink
    January 25, 2011 10:49 am

    So perfectly written.

    I love you.

  30. Terri permalink
    January 25, 2011 10:55 am

    I read your post and the tears are flowing as I pray for you and yours. May God surround you with peace and comfort like nothing you have ever known before. What a handsome young man; and you have honored him with your beautiful words of tribute. Terri

  31. Becky permalink
    January 25, 2011 11:26 am

    Dear Deborah,
    I’m so sorry for your loss. Thank you for sharing here… I will be thinking of you and your family & praying for your hearts. I honestly cried through this post, I understand this disease very well and the awful highs & lows that it brings. My husband was diagnosed with type 1 when he was 22, 17 yrs. ago. I had no idea that day how our lives would be so changed. Some days I grieve over how things could be different without diabetes in our lives, some days I breathe thanks that it hasn’t taken him, some days I just have to trust that my Father is in control, some days I am overwhelmed by the weight of it all. Thank you for the gentle reminder that this is the best time to say I love you.
    With love & hugs,
    Becky

  32. January 25, 2011 12:15 pm

    My condolences. God bless. ♥

  33. January 25, 2011 12:42 pm

    I am truly, so so sorry. Your nephew was and is still very lucky to have you and you him. He has not left you, he is simply out of your sight for now.

  34. January 25, 2011 12:57 pm

    My heart aches for you and your family as i read about his life and death.
    Yes, if we could only turn back time but you have beautiful memories to stay with you always.
    Push away those bad times and reflect on this beautiful boy and the happy moments you had together.
    There is never enough time, even if we do live to be 100…it is still too short.
    This is why it is best to enjoy everyday to its fullest and think of how he would want you to carry on.
    Thank you for sharing this heartbreaking story for all to remember what a gift we are given and to live everyday like it is our last.
    My thoughts are with you, stay strong and carry on.
    Amy

  35. January 25, 2011 1:05 pm

    Deborah –

    What a beautiful tribute to someone you clearly love so much. My prayers are with you as you remember Joseph and celebrate his life.

    • January 25, 2011 1:31 pm

      Oh! I don’t even know you, and yet I’m crying. I saw you mentioned on the chit chat page, and was compelled to stop by. I’m so sorry about your nephew (the poor soul), and the immense pain you must be feeling.

  36. Marie Schneider permalink
    January 25, 2011 3:11 pm

    Deborah,
    So very sorry to have learned this news. My thoughts and prayers are with you! As usual, beautiful words from a beautiful person! Take Care of yourself!
    Your Friend,
    Marie

  37. January 25, 2011 4:14 pm

    Dearest Deborah,

    I am so very sorry. Someone will explain it all to our hearts one day and He is the reason that you are able to keep going forward when so many painful losses have hit so close to home.

    You are in my heart and in my prayers, friend.
    Rhonda

  38. January 25, 2011 8:18 pm

    My heart goes out to you, Deborah.

  39. January 26, 2011 11:12 am

    So very very sorry for your loss.
    xo xo

  40. January 26, 2011 12:15 pm

    Deborah, dear friend, I’m so sorry to read this. What a beautiful post you’ve written as a testament to your nephew’s too-short life and the impact his life and passing has had. I wish you much peace amidst the grief, and that happy memories will begin to lessen that grief as the clocks keep ticking around your house.

    Much love to you and your family. You will of course be in my thoughts and prayers as you walk this road….

  41. January 26, 2011 1:40 pm

    You’re in my prayers. ♥
    Celeste

  42. January 26, 2011 9:27 pm

    Deborah…I am so sorry to hear this news. I love my nieces and nephews as if they were my own children and I can tell you feel the same way. Two weeks ago today I was driving to St. Louis with my husband to care for his dying father in his own home. There were four of us there night and day for 2 days (me, my husband, his sister and her husband) as we watched the man we loved so much fade from this world. It was so hard to let him go.
    Your nephew is so young — that makes it so much harder. My prayers and thoughts are with you.
    Your friend,
    Cheri

  43. January 27, 2011 1:53 pm

    OH Deb, you sure have been through it lately; praying for you and your family!!

  44. January 27, 2011 8:40 pm

    My prayers are with you and your family. A dear friend of mine is in a similar situation. We have been friends since childhood and I understand the constant fears and what if scenarios. Steel Magnolias is such a wonderful crutch for situations like this. I wish we could all slap the Ouisers in our lives! It certainly would make us feel a little better even if for a little while.

  45. January 27, 2011 11:24 pm

    I’m so so sorry to hear this and my heart aches for you. I will say a prayer for you and your family.
    Blessings,
    Shelia 😉

  46. Diana permalink
    January 28, 2011 1:55 pm

    Even though I don’t know you and your family my prayers are with you and your family! I can only imagine what you are going through right. Family is the most important part in life! Your nieces post brought tears to my eyes.

  47. Anonymous permalink
    January 28, 2011 3:20 pm

    Dear Deborah,

    I know your heart is aching, I am so sorry.
    Your friend,
    Betsy

  48. Arthur permalink
    January 28, 2011 5:12 pm

    Dear Deborah,

    So very sorry to hear about the passing of your Godson.

    Should you feel the need to chat, you may contact me anytime.

    Peace & Love,

    Arthur

  49. January 28, 2011 6:09 pm

    I am so very, very sorry for your great loss.

    may I offer you some words of comfort that I have ‘borrowed’ and have written in a special book of quotes…

    “I know love is forever and life is eternal and death is nothing but a horizon. And a horizon, Captain, is nothing more than the limit of our eyesight.”

    -may your own beautiful, beautiful, poignant words bring you and your family comfort in this difficult time.

    with sympathy,
    joan

  50. January 28, 2011 9:05 pm

    Dear Deborah,
    I am so very sorry for your loss. Joseph is no longer in pain, but that, I imagine, is little consolation for your breaking heart. My prayers are with you and your sister and entire family. Knowing the pain will come in waves, I hope you are able to catch your breath between each swell.
    Thoughts and prayers,
    Maureen

  51. January 29, 2011 7:48 am

    My Dear Deborah,
    Again, I have no words of comfort for you. I believe God takes some, so that their suffering can end, only to leave us with the sorrow of losing them. It seems that there isn’t a day that goes by that I don’t hear about another person facing some kind of medical problem or the loss of someone. My ‘prayer list’ is getting ‘too long’, and a constant reminder to always remember to say I LOVE YOU, because it can be the last time that we may have that chance. Please take care of yourself, MY FRIEND, and know that, I LOVE YOU for the good person that I have grown to know that you are.

    (((((((((((BIG HUGS))))))))))
    ‘D’

  52. January 29, 2011 9:59 am

    Oh, Deborah. I am so, so sorry. I don’t even know what else to say. I’m hurting for you this morning.

  53. January 29, 2011 8:03 pm

    Deborah, I am so very sorry to hear of your loss. My sympathy to you, Melissa and your family for the loss of your beautiful nephew, brother and son. I too love my nieces and nephews as if they were my own children. My thoughts and prayers will be with you.

  54. January 30, 2011 1:49 am

    Deborah,
    I’ve been reading your blog for a long time, and I can’t believe you found my little diddly-squat one. =0) We live in TX, so we never know what kind of weather we’re going to have. Today it was almost 80 degrees so we stayed outside all day and got ourselves a nice sunburn, but Tuesday it’s expected to snow again!?! We aren’t very well equipped for it either since we hardly ever used to get any, so I have to rotate knit gloves and hats in and out of the dryer all day long. Not so fun for me I guess, but it’s a world of fun for Haley. =0)

    Also, I’m so sorry for the loss of your sweet nephew. I can feel your pain in the way you write, and that’s a gift. You’re in my prayers.

    Stephanie

  55. January 30, 2011 6:11 pm

    Hello Deborah, and thank you for your very nice comment on my blog. I send my deepest condolences and wishes for peace to you and your family on the tragic loss of your sweet nephew. Your post brought a tear to my eye. What a shame…. so sorry…so young. xoxo

    On a more positive note, yes, I am a Jersey girl through and through. Born in Plainfield NJ, grew up in Middlesex. Now my famiy is all off Exit 98 of the GSP: Brielle, Brick, Belmar. I visit every year. Must get my Jersey fix! I am the only one in Alaska, my mom has her own room at my house when she visits, and now I have her dog, Halle, the glamorous 12 year old black standard poodle. I have Halle because of my mom’s knee surgeries and her inability to care for Halle due to her bad legs. Halle is now a permanant Alaskan and absolutely loves the snow! xo

  56. January 31, 2011 7:31 pm

    Debra,
    No words can express the depth of sadness at the loss of a loved one. Hold tight to the wonderful and beautiful memories of your nephew.
    God be with you and your family.

    Bridgemor

  57. January 31, 2011 8:02 pm

    Deborah,
    What a beautiful tribute to Joseph. I weep with you as you grieve his loss. Please accept my condolances and prayers of peace to you and your sister and her family.
    Blessings- Kim

  58. January 31, 2011 11:28 pm

    My prayers are with you and my heart is hurting for your family. What a beautiful tribute for a splendid young man. Life is hard, I am praying harder for you today. Anne

  59. February 1, 2011 1:47 am

    Deborah,

    I am so very sorry for your loss. Life truly sucks sometimes. I hope that you are able to find some peace in this difficult time. You are on my heart and in my thoughts.

    Stop by and say hello,
    Amber

  60. February 1, 2011 8:31 am

    My Dear Precious Deborah…
    Oh sweet friend, I am so sorry for the pain that your family is going through at this time. It is an undescribeable pain, I have been there, having lost my neice a little over a year ago to cancer. I am sending you hugs sweetie and wiping those tears as they fall.

    Joseph was a beautiful soul and he suffers no more. Unless you have had diabetes people have no idea what a horrible death sentence it truly is. Some far worse than others. (I too am an insulin diabetic and there are days you just want to roll over and give up.) He lived his life to the fullest sweet friend, and when you find yourself down and out, remember to pull one of those books of memories from the shelf and allow him to continue to live, in your heart.

    I am storming the heavens with prayers for you and your family, for God to comfort you each in the way that you need, and to give peace to your daily life. You are not alone sweetie, we will be right here walking with you. If you need a friend, you know where to find me.

    Many hugs sweetie and SO much love, Sherry

  61. Pondside permalink
    February 1, 2011 1:47 pm

    Beautiful young man. He was a blessing to your, but gone way too soon. I’m so sorry.
    My sister and I have our ‘Steel Magnolia’ moments too – what is that all about? Sometimes it’s just about coping.
    I am so sorry for your loss.

  62. February 1, 2011 5:54 pm

    Oh, no no no no NO. This is horrible news. I have the hardest time grasping why things like this happen, I really do. At times like this I wish I was more religious so I could maybe make sense of tragedies like this. Maybe I could understand the “meaning” and the lesson. But I can’t. Other than to always say “I love you.” That lesson I learned that the hard way.

    Saying I am sorry for your loss seems too little. I wish I was at the Fairfield House right now so I could give you a big old hug. And I wish for you and your family to find peace in your hearts as you process this.

    With love and sympathy,
    Laura

  63. February 2, 2011 12:15 am

    Oh, Deborah! This was just heart wrenching… he was so young! My heart breaks for you and your family as I know you are in much pain now. You were such a loving aunt who showed sincere interest from the very beginning – and I know that he must have treasured you immensely. Your words are so wise – *now* is the time to show our loved ones just how much we love them. We take them for granted all too often. This is a powerful lesson for all of us. May your hearts heal as well as they can with time and please know that you are in my thoughts and prayers. I am so sorry. 😦

  64. February 2, 2011 3:33 pm

    I’m so sorry, what a sad loss. He was a beautiful little boy, full of such hope. I can see your love for him and your sadness over his loss, I’m shedding tears for you and for his family.

    You were a real blessing in his life, and he in yours. You have modeled what that means and how precious time is. Thank you for sharing his life and your heartache. I’m so sorry, Deborah.

    xo

  65. February 2, 2011 7:21 pm

    I am so sorry that I didn’t get to this earlier Deborah. I could make up tons of excuses and for the most part, they would be valid. The biggest reason is that I just don’t know what to say when someone is hurting.

    I am not allowed to drink Guinness or Irish Whiskey anymore, but I will now raise my glass of OJ to Joseph. He was a lucky guy to have you, just as you were lucky to have him. And remember, to live in the hearts we leave behind is not to die.

  66. February 2, 2011 7:26 pm

    Oh, I just thought of a time machine for you, a candlestick. I will light one for him tonight at my house.

  67. February 2, 2011 9:04 pm

    I am so sorry to read this and can’t imagine your sadness. I know that there are no words of comfort that I, a complete stranger, can give you but I did say a prayer for you. I was stopping in to get your email so that I could respond to your request for a bird seed cake, saw this handsome little baby, and began to read. I really don’t know what to say & wish I knew the right words, but your post is very much appreciated and the message is loud and clear. “THIS is the moment that matters.” I’m shedding tears for the loss of your nephew & friend.

    Jami

  68. February 3, 2011 11:10 am

    i hate the separation death causes….even if it’s for a span of time….i hate it. however, i’m glad you had one remarkable young man in your life.

    ((gentle hugs))

  69. February 4, 2011 7:13 am

    Deborah, I am so sorry for the passing of your nephew. My heart is heavy for you and your family. I lost a classmate and one of my girl scouts to Type 1 Diabetes. My husband has type 2 and he has NEVER been in control, he can go from over 300 down to 45 in a few hours. He was DXed before we met over 26 years ago. The day he was hospitalized and put on insulin was scary, he had dropped over 30 pounds in about 40 days. his sugar was over 600.He was in Ketoacidosis. He has been on insulin ever since, with a consistant increase over the years.
    He has Retinopathy, neuropathy, CAD with a HX of 2 MI’s and a dbl CABG (Bypass)

    He IS the perfect candidate for the insulin pump, though he refuses it. I can not make him do anything. He is 69 now, and over the past fw years I have been noticing some memory issues here and there, and some balance issues here and there, and now he also has lymphodema showing up usually in one leg alone.

    Many people think DIABETES, OH is that all. WELL F- U ass…Diabetes is a hard disease, with little margin space, it affects all in the family of the person with it…mood swings etc
    Yes there are worse diseases out there, fatal ones…DM actually is a fatal one, but it is NOT the DM that kills, it is it’s complications. I have a Great-niece with a HORRIBLE, PAINFUL, TERMINAL disease (You may recall her being on my sidebar, when I sabotaged my blog I lost her, and have to put her back) She will be lucky to reach her teen years. Is her disease worse than Ron’s DM? YES, does that take away from his DM? NO.

    I wouldn’t wish Diabetes on my worst enemy. It takes many from us, at too young an age…my classmate was 36 and left behind a wife and 2 children. my GS was only 19, and she was only DXed 15. They did live lives, and touched other people, we were all better for knowing them. Your nephew also lived a life, and touched others. he will not soon be forgotten.

    Much positive, healing and peaceful energy flowing out to your family, and prayers as well.

    Hugs,
    Susan

  70. February 4, 2011 1:31 pm

    I was away and missed this post Deborah. I am so sorry.

    It never makes any sense. My grandson died when he was 10 days old. My sister passed away much, much too soon. We wonder how we are supposed to go on without them. The only thing I am sure of is how very grateful I am that they were a part of my life.

    Time and space don’t really matter. Joseph will always be near – right there in your heart and mind.

  71. February 4, 2011 7:15 pm

    There is nothing really to say. No trite “I’m sorry” I have prayed for you without knowing who you were – and now today know why it is important that I keep praying. I know of darkness my new friend. I know how it can swallow. I pray angels keep you above the water line and God cup you close.

  72. February 5, 2011 8:42 pm

    Oh my sweet friend. I had no idea that you were going through this. I am so very sorry to hear this. My heart is breaking for you and your family.
    Having a granddaughter with this horrid disease makes it really hard reading about your young nephew.
    Wish I had the words to help you! Know that I will prayer for you. Please know I am here if you need to talk to me.
    You mentioned sending me something about Juvenile Diabetes and I did not see it but will go back through my emails later this evening.
    Love
    Maggie

  73. February 15, 2011 9:51 am

    I never appropriately said how sorry I am for your unfair loss of your sweet nephew. This year has been so full of my own pain, loss, and grief that I’m afraid I run from the empathy grief I experience when I see loss in others. It’s selfish, and I’m sorry for not being here for you as a bloggy friend. This post was a beautiful tribute to your love for your nephew and a wonderful reminder for us to not waste time. Thanks for sharing your gift of writing with all of us!

  74. Kim permalink
    February 26, 2011 7:42 pm

    I am so sorry to hear of your loss. I will keep you and your family in my prayers. May God’s Peace be upon you.

  75. March 1, 2011 3:24 am

    Thank you for sharing your life with us.

  76. April 11, 2011 8:55 pm

    Oh, how did I ever miss this post? I am so sorry Deborah… for not writing sooner. For not adding any comfort… most of all, I am so sorry for this unrest. Death, whether expected or not, shakes us to the core. It forces us into reality, and sets our minds on eternity. I pray the Lord brings you great peace in the smiles you remember. Cling to those memories, the moments that define the young man you knew and loved.

    Much love to you sweet friend!

  77. May 28, 2011 12:19 pm

    Months later and for reasons that only He knows, I stumble across this post. This oh so beautifully written reminder to take today to say “I Love You”, to all that I can. This is a lovely tribute to your nephew, Joseph. Without a doubt, he knew how very much you loved him.
    You have such a Sweet Spirit living within you. I am so happy that He led me here. How I have enjoyed the photos and this time os sharing your pain.
    I will come back. With love ~ Jo

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