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Domestic Goddess

May 12, 2010
by

“Love begins by taking care of the closest ones – the ones at home.” ~ Mother Teresa

I came across a faded photograph of my Gram recently. After the initial pangs of loneliness for her company passed, I focused hard on the worn image of a worn woman. My Gram never aged. Countless black and white prints stored in antique cigar boxes ranging from the 1920s to the new millennium are proof. Gram always looked old.

Mothers and Daughters

(l-r) My great-grandmother, aunt, mother, and Gram.

I thought about my contemporaries and the lives they lead – a constant effort on balancing family, career, home, romance and self. In attempting to do it all, we excel in little, except perhaps, exhaustion. We  are a generation of actresses. As long as things appear to be “just right” then they must be. Who ever said we can have it all lied.

Did our mothers and grandmothers feel this way? Is it a legacy we want to give our daughters? All the qualities we cherish the most about the women in our past are fading.  Generations of skill sets are becoming extinct.  A woman no longer teaches her daughter how to cook or bake, but rather how to operate a microwave. How many know how to set a formal table, have a pillowcase on their bed they embroidered, or can sew at all?  How many teach proper etiquette? Home Economics, if offered, is no longer mandatory. Instead schools and mothers encourage daughters to be all they can be … all that is, except a woman.

What warm memories will future Grams leave? Will great grand childen recall nothing but trips to Mickey Ds, the great bakery their Gram used, or the fact we looked younger than our own mothers and grandmothers?

It was not until I entered the wonderful world of blogging that I learned all modern women are not the same. There are many that believe and live the same way I do —  that these abilities are treasured heirlooms and should be collected and passed down from generation to generation; that it is an honor to be tending to a home and family. We take pride in what some may view as mundane but necessary tasks; making each day special and another chance to express love. We spend our days defining what it is to be blessed and born a woman. We know it is more important to give ourselves to others rather than things; to spend time not money.

Life is not a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely, with the most toys, in a well preserved body. I plan to skid in broadside, thoroughly used up, sharing all my mother and her mother gave me, totally worn out.
Like Gram.

*************************

I linked to “A few of my favorite blog Posts 2010” at The Lettered Cottage

I am linking up to Finding Beauty Friday and New Friend Friday.

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54 Comments leave one →
  1. May 12, 2010 2:05 pm

    Absolutely well thought and stated… what a beautiful letter and a gentle reminder to continue a legacy. Just loved this post and the words within it!

    Reminds me of my own Gram… still living, planting her own garden, taking out her own garbage and cooking every meal… that’s work and a legacy of love.

  2. May 12, 2010 2:12 pm

    I absolutely loved this post Deborah. It is exactly what I want to say, but never knew how to put it into words. Brilliantly written.

    (((hugs)))
    rue

  3. May 12, 2010 2:13 pm

    Oh Deborah, thank you so much for this post. It’s sad to me that women fought so hard to become “career women” that they forgot how important it is to stay at home. My sister who has always worked and let my parent raise her kids once asked me “What DO you do all day?” I told my Mother, “You were there at the door for us each morning when we went to school and there when we came home in the afternoon. If that’s all I can give my children then it ok with me”. I can’t give my kids every little thing their hearts desire and I don’t want to. I can give them the comfort of knowing that if they need me all they have to do is yell. It’s hard, we struggle but at the end of the day I’m raising my children to be responsible adults and that’s a job I take very seriously. I take my hat off to working women – I don’t know how they do it. But for me, I want to be at home. Just like my Mother and her Mother.

    Thanks again,
    Kathy

    p.s. My Nannie always looked old too! I guess we should wear it like a badge!!!

  4. May 12, 2010 2:23 pm

    We must have been sisters in another life, we share entirely too many sentiments. 🙂

    One of my favorite quotes (and people who idolize this post) is by Tasha Tudor who said: “Why do women want to dress like men when they’re fortunate enough to be women? Why lose femininty, which is one of our greatest charms? We get more accomplished by being charming than we would be flaunting around in pants and smoking. I’m very fond of men. I think they are wonderful creatures. I love them dearly. But I don’t want to look like one. When women gave up their long skirts, they made a grave error….”

    Sometimes I think the reason women feel the need to ‘have it all’ is because we were so limited in the past to doing only certain things. Much like a child who is given every thing and appreciates nothing- women have failed to realize how wonderful being a woman is. In our zeal for proving our worth we seem to have lost our true-selves along the way.

    My mother in-law had this idea to buy a large plot of land up north have our family each build a house on it to do what we like- and I know that when I do, I will live my life a lot like Tasha Tudor, simply enjoying being a woman.

  5. Vicki Root permalink
    May 12, 2010 4:40 pm

    What a great tribute to we women from the ‘other generations’ Yes, times change and we sometimes need to change with it. But not forget what real life was and still is…
    I love to do counted cross stitching and plan to teach my grand daughters how. And to show them how their great and great great grandmothers fared in life. It’s an important part of who they are also and they should know it.
    Keep living the dream Deborah!

  6. Zuzu permalink
    May 12, 2010 4:50 pm

    Lovely post, Deborah. I’ll be the wrinkled, white-haired Grammy in line with you at the Pearly Gates! 🙂

  7. Anonymous permalink
    May 12, 2010 5:10 pm

    What a fantastic post! It was beautifully said and the sentiments were mine exactly. I’ll never forget when I had my first child and we ran into an old friend from school. She asked me, “Well what are you going to do with your life now?” She seemed kind of disgusted and disappointed that I would be standing there with this baby in my arms. Well, I tried to explain that, I was now going to be a wife to my husband, a mother to our daughter and make and tend to our nest. She looked at me completely confounded. She ended up having a career, by choice had no children, and went through at least 3 husbands at last count. She has had several {procedures} to look younger and more beautiful yet happiness eludes her. To each his own and there is a place in this world for each person to do their own thing, which I guess is a good thing. I revere homemaking and tradition. It just works for me. All of my daughters are adept at setting a beautiful table, be it for tea or for an entire meal. I’ve taught them to wield an iron efficiently (gasp)! And to have impeccable manners. I fear not when they go out into the world they will know and use their etiquette. My sons have excellent manners as well, and have been taught through the example of their father’s appreciation for me, the value of a woman who takes good care of her family. The legacy I leave is important to me. It will be one of family traditions, sacred faith and the value of life. A lot of work and effort goes into seeing that, my children go out into the world as competent, independent adults who can be an advantage to society in some way. I guess it doesn’t matter how each of us gets there, the point is to get somewhere and have something wonderful to look back on. Sadly, I’ve seen a lot of kids given ‘things’ in place of attention. I can usually tell one of those kids a mile away. Yet, I know mothers who have had a career, raised wonderful children and seemingly have ‘done it all’. I guess we all just do the best we can. I love your last line,”I plan to skid in broadside, thoroughly used up, sharing all my mother and her mother gave me, totally worn out. ” Me too! And I’m going to savor every moment.

  8. May 12, 2010 5:37 pm

    Deborah,
    Wow. I this made me cry.
    Well said.
    Very well said.
    I too, have a Gram.
    A Gram who has always looked old, and still sews and uses a boiler oven, or the stove top :), and crochets.
    I learned many things from her and am trying to pass them to my daughters- daughters who are becoming women.
    I enjoyed the comments above also.
    It seems we have some work to do to get really good and worn out, don’t we?
    Thank you for sharing this post- I am linking it to my Facebook page, if you don’t mind?
    It’s so very sweet and poignant.
    Blessing to you as you make your home!

  9. May 12, 2010 5:47 pm

    What a perfect post. I do find pleasure in being a homemaker but have my degree that could take me into the working-for-pay world. I think focusing on family is SO important and that is my goal.

  10. May 12, 2010 6:04 pm

    Bravo!! I could not agree more.

    xoxo
    Pat

  11. May 12, 2010 6:32 pm

    This post is so beautifully written. So true also. The other day I called my daughter’s “Life Skills” teacher the Home Ec teacher and I thought she was gonna shoot daggers with her eyes! It also isn’t what it used to be. I remember when we were taught how to bake cookies in Home Ec we learned how to bake cookies. Do you know the “Life Skills” teacher actually brought in the Pillsbury roll cookies to demonstrate how to bake cookies? I was appalled! Now they are learning how to sew by making a tie blanket out of fleece. The teacher has specified fleece so there is no sewing involved. Huh?!

    My grandmother taught me how to crochet, tat, knit, sew, quilt, canning and other very useful skills. My mother reinforced these skills and expanded on them. I feel so fortunate to have had these two women in my life to teach me “Life Skills”.

    I have taught my two oldest these skills also. My son grumbled when I was teaching him the basics on how to fix a seam. “You never know when you are going to need it honey” I told him. During one of his football games he split the whole backside out of his pants. He said he didn’t know what was more embarrassing, that or having his mother yell from the sidelines “Aren’t ya glad I taught ya how to sew!”

  12. May 12, 2010 6:44 pm

    Well done girl, well done. I always think of my mom’s hands. Thin skinned and heavily veined. Hands that worked. Hands that bleached the whites, ironed the pillowcases, put homemade meals on the table, brushed my hair and tucked me in. I look at my own hands now and see faint traces of my mom’s hands. I love the smell of bleach, it reminds me of her. I love to scrub things and cook and garden. All things passed down to me from my lovely mother. Thanks for opening the door to those memories Deborah. Lovely, heartfelt, good-to-the-bone post, my friend.

  13. May 12, 2010 7:26 pm

    Deborah,

    As a working woman, I struggle with this concept almost daily! In fact, I am always sarcastically saying to my female colleagues, “Who was the genius who fought for women to work?!”

    It’s a catch 22 really. I like the financial freedom working brings, but I also take joy in creating a beautiful home and in nurturing my family. I struggle to balance it all.

    I am fortunate that I have a husband who shares in laundry, cooking, cleaning etc. I think that is really the key to making it all work. If women are working, men must equally share in taking care of home. I’m very blessed to have a partner in that regard.

    I have been adamant about teaching Imani how to knit, sew, and bake (from scratch – not from a box). We maintain a schedule of eating as a family (home cooked meals), but I watch many of my friends resort to frozen food or fast food in front of the TV. They don’t have equal help at home and so they are constantly stressed and ragged.

    In any case, I really enjoyed this post because it captures my inner struggles. I’ve thought many times about letting go of my job in order to devote 100 percent to my family. It would allow me to pull Imani out of afterschool programs and be home when she gets off the bus and it would also offer a less stressful schedule if one person was able to stay home and take care of “home.”

    Thanks for another great piece of writing.

  14. May 12, 2010 8:26 pm

    Hi Deborah! 🙂
    That was so beautifully written and OH so true. I am so grateful that my mom handed so many wonderful things down to me. I am being honest when I tell you that she taught me how to lay out a pattern by the time I was 5! I was already embroidering by the time I was 7 and could cook a full meal at about age 11. I am so glad to have all that knowledge…..instead of knowing how to microwave a tv dinner! :0)
    Thanks for your lovely post….it makes me want to get out my sewing machine or embroidery tools and go to town working on something handmade! lol
    have a blessed day my friend!
    Hugs
    Melissa

  15. Sheryl permalink
    May 12, 2010 8:52 pm

    Another beautiful post, Deborah. If only we knew then what we know now….though I can’t say I would do anything different because every thing leads to now. My maternal grandmother was a saint…what a sweet kind thoughtful woman…she is who I want to grow up to be one day….

  16. May 12, 2010 9:18 pm

    I loved your words, nicely said.

  17. May 12, 2010 10:30 pm

    I am saving this blog post. You speak what i have been saying for years! when we pushed for ERA, all we did was add more to our plate as women. When my husband went to a new post office, he was shocked* to find that almost all the women that worked there with, were all around my age give or take 5 years (with the exception of 3 older ladies) I was about 31 at this time. What he was shocked about, was that none of them cooked, they did take out, frozen or eat out 99% of the time. Even when I worked F/T I cooked, now I am not saying I didn’t use anything from a box, but I still cooked dinner every night. I hang laundry out when the weather is good, there are only 2 of us in the neighborhood that do. Up until I became disabled in 2005, I used to do LOTS of cooking, baking and CANNING. We still try to make the strawberry preserves, and at least applesauce in the fall, if not also pie filling, but I can no longer stand in front of the stove for long periods of time. In fact only about 30 minutes.

    and, what’s more….I MISS IT!! My oldest daughter ever had any inclination of learning anything about cooking or baking when I tried to teach her. my youngest daughter at least showed an interest in cooking and baking, however, she still asked me to hem stuff or re attach a button, Last year I put my foot down and told her to “watch me this one last time, cause I wasn’t doing it anymore” She’ll be 23 in July.

    WHAT really GETS me…is what the definitions of “appropriate and inappropriate” behavior have become. Coed sleep over parties…NO WAY. Talking on the phone on a school night at 2 in the morning…don’t think so. Having double digit sex partners by the age of 25. I don’t get it.

    and don’t even get me started on lack of activity = obesity (I am obese, but I wasn’t as a child or young adult)

    Technology has ruined our kids, If there is nothing electronic to do, they are bored. I was NEVER bored growing up, and my parents didn’t need to entertain me. MY generation is partially guilty as they are the ones that started giving these items to kids at younger and younger ages. My sister (9 years older than I) gave her first granddaughter (same age as my youngest) a 5 CD changer stereo system when she was 6, to me that is a gift for maybe age 13. her X husband bought the same grandchild a cell phone for her 13th B day, again, I thought inappropriate…more like a sweet 16 gift.

    It was also my generation, who decided any form of corporal punishment was bad, and that it would traumatize the child, and we should use time-outs. well, i disagreed..thank God!

    example: my son is severe ADHD and ODD (Really-all the pros have said that the books could have been written about him) he had a friend in school that was also ADHD, but was also very aggressive… he got time outs ONLY, my son got time outs, rewards or things taken away or a smack if it was appropriate. My son, refused meds at about 15.5 years old. ok so he was still hyper, but at least had more control on his distractability etc. They had a falling out, and that was that …this kid went on to be a drug addict ( in and out of rehab 4 times between the age of 16 and 18, and arrested for grand theft, and B&E and arson all before he was 19. My son never any of the above.

    Sometimes a kid needs a smack, and those of us who got one when it was needed all grew up ok.

    sorry, stepping off soap box, LOL

    Susan

  18. May 12, 2010 10:34 pm

    Well said. I have always homebaked, canned, and sewn, we do not own a microwave. Little House on the Prairie really rubbed off on me. First off I don’t trust a microwave. Buying microwave food is expensive, and the real thing is way better. I must admit though this past year I have been lazy….I have often wondered about all you have said here and wonder about these lost arts…..

  19. May 12, 2010 11:10 pm

    I want to print this out and place it in my daughter’s keepsake box. You write so beautifully about the choices that women have to make. I thank my parents so much for encouraging me to explore my own interests from a very early age – sports, cooking, cleaning (yes, I liked doing it), reading, etc. They never directed my career choices or extracurricular activities. Opportunities, encouragement, and time were granted to me. Despite this, times have changed. I have learned the hardest lessons as a mom myself. Although you can have it all in life, it’s not always possible to have it all at the same time. I wrestle with this, but ultimately I have been taught first-hand the importance of family first. It’s not cliche, if you live it daily.

    Thank you for this post. So well written – as always.
    Maureen

  20. May 12, 2010 11:20 pm

    A EXCELLENT post, full of truths and wisdom!

  21. May 13, 2010 12:45 am

    Hi Deborah, fantastic post..I do think that the cycle is coming full circle..lots of moms who are stay at home and HAPPY about it, and lots of career gals who are taking more time with their families. More gals who revere cooking and housekeeping and sewing and needlework. Like if we don’t do these things, they might disappear as time goes on..I do think it is up to our geneation and that of our children to keep these alive.

    Like I said great post and food for thought..

    Barb

  22. May 13, 2010 11:42 am

    Stopping to cackle at ‘she never aged’…that’s why we love you Deborah. Back to reading…

  23. May 13, 2010 11:48 am

    Amen! I’d have a thought while reading and then you would sum it up in the next line.

    YOU CANNOT HAVE IT ALL!!!
    Chill out and enjoy the freedom of choice!

    Either way, you’re going to have to choose.

  24. May 14, 2010 12:45 am

    Beautiful Deborah. Thank you for this post! xoxo

  25. May 14, 2010 2:20 pm

    I love the way you think! I love the way you write! This post resonates with me.

  26. May 14, 2010 4:11 pm

    So very true my dear friend.. I didn’t take the time to share what I know as a domestic goddess with my daughter.. I pity her husband if she marries. I blame only myself as I wanted her free spirited and loving. Now our son on the other hand does it all.. he’s the perfect spouse.. a domestic god in his own right.. here here for the men!

    love ya.. and miss you just as much!!

    Olivia

  27. May 14, 2010 4:47 pm

    Hi Deborah,
    What a wonderful post!
    I feel very much the same about my own dear, departed grandmother. It seems as though she was born old.

    Thank you for giving a voice to many of my same thoughts.

    Have a wonderful weekend!
    Anne

  28. May 14, 2010 7:19 pm

    Aw, Deborah, I’ve said it many times and I’ll say it again, I just love the way you express your thoughts! It’s like “reading” a beautiful painting, each word perfectly brushed in place just so.:)

    You are so right – things just aren’t like they use to be as far as the focus of many women and the kinds of things that get passed down, if anything at all. There are a few things that I remember from my mother, but I’ve so often wished I had learned more, and learned from my grandmother as well, because I feel like I don’t have much of anything to pass down to my daughters. So I’m trying to learn myself “as I go along”, things like bread baking and sewing and cake decorating and such, so that I have at least a little something to pass along. 🙂 Two of the three {ages 9 and 10} are keenly interested in sewing and have been antsy to use my sewing machine and were thrilled the other day when I let them. There is no time like the present, I suppose! I’ve told my girls that I thought it would be great to compose a family cookbook of all our favorite recipes so that they could recreate them at any time whenever they grow up and move on. Now if only I could figure out how to make a good pie crust!

    It is so cute you mentioned embroidered pillows as two of my three girls are the proud owners of a couple of embroidered pillowcases they worked on themselves, though without much of my direction. One of my daughters created her embroidered pillowcase just a few days ago without my knowledge {I thought it was nice she wanted to make one herself!}, so this post was sweetly coincidental!

  29. May 15, 2010 10:12 am

    Great post, Deborah! I have just recently started to do some of the things that our grandmother’s used to do in their own homes. I bake my own bread, we make homemade strawberry jam, grow veggies and herbs in our garden, and home can as much of it as we can. We also planted several fruit trees in our back yard so that some day we can pick our own fruit and can it. I think it is very important to hand some of these skills down to our children so that we will never forget how to sustain ourselves. Plus, it gives you a wonderful sense of accomplishment to have a hot loaf of homemade bread on the table served with jam that you canned with your own two hands. The best part is hearing your kids say “you make the best bread, mommy. ” I love it!!
    Hope you have a great week!! 🙂
    Beth.

  30. May 15, 2010 6:39 pm

    Oh i just want to put your sweet little Gram in my pocket. She is a treasure to be sure.

    You know Deborah sometimes I wonder if it matters to anyone in my family that I spend 2 hours on a meal only to have them gobble it down in 5 minutes. Then a small glimmer of hope will arise when the Fashionista calls and says, “Mom, I baked cookies and they turned out JUST as good as yours.” Or Sweet boy will say, “Five people wanted to trade me my lunch today.”

    A hundred years from now there will probably be no one left who remembers the small things I do every day. But I will never stop doing them.

    There’s an answer to your question on my blog today. You’ll also see a photo of a very tired woman. 🙂

    Thanks ever so much for being one of the cheerleaders as I raced to the finish line.

    Don’t ever stop being you. It matters.

  31. May 15, 2010 10:58 pm

    Hi Deborah,

    Great great post, especially around Mother’s Day. I have four generations in my family right now and feel sooo blessed my daughter has gotten the chance to get to know my grandmother – her GREAT grandmother (who is 98!)…anyway, as I get older, I begin to appreciate the true definition of family and know the depths of love and commitment a mother has – and now know how deep my own mother’s love was and is for her family. Wow – thanks so much for the post AND the photo…made us all slow down and think about past, present AND future…thank YOU!

  32. May 16, 2010 4:41 pm

    “look out!!! get outta the way!!!! i’m sliding through~~~~~~~~~~whoohooo!”

    as a nana, i’m teaching my grandchildren some of these skills: hand sewing; good quality; cooking – not just warming up; music…..

    “….hey, worn-out woman slip-sliding through!!!!!!!!!!!!”

  33. May 17, 2010 5:05 pm

    Such an inspiring and thoughtful post today! I so miss both of my precious grandmothers, too. As I age, I often yearn for the good ol’ days, a slower and simpler time! Thanks for sharing!

    Also….Thanks for stopping by and entering my Cottage Charm giveway! Good luck to you!

    Hope you had a fantastic weekend!

    Big TX Hugs,
    Stephanie
    Angelic Accents

  34. May 17, 2010 7:22 pm

    I really enjoy reading your posts, so beautifully written.
    This really gave me something to think about.
    Instead of a grandmother teaching and passing down, I think of my Dad and how he wants to pass along his love of cooking. That is something I just do not enjoy doing like he does. I think I will be side by side with him baking a carrot cake sometime in the near future. I really need to know how he makes it so wonderful.

  35. May 18, 2010 9:30 am

    I’ve come back here again and again to read the comments that have been posted. I have mixed feelings.

    My mother had to work, after she became a single parent to three children. As one of her children, it was very lonely for me and very confusing for me at times, when I was in my early, grade school years. Certain days I was suppose to go to my Aunt’s for lunch or after school, the other days to my Grandmother’s. I’d get mixed up with my days sometimes and find myself in the wrong place, and when I missed lunch, hungry. 😦 Then there were the days that I’d be sick and in the house, alone, except for our dog Snooper, who would lay by my side and be my nurse.

    Although none of this would be ALLOWED today, growing up in a small town then, was accepted. Can you imagine what would happen to the Mother and children these days???? My mother was too proud to accept help from anyone, any kind of assistance wasn’t even an issue. Though her family could well afford to help, she often worked nights at a second job to support us. That second job was right behind where we lived, so she was close by. Even her main job was only two blocks away from our house, so it wasn’t like she wasn’t ‘there’. My mother died at the age of 42, I was twelve.

    I worked too, when I had my children, but they were in school and I only worked during their school hours. And I always made sure that the job never kept me from attending their school or after school activities. I always remembered how good it felt to have my mother meet me after school one SPECIAL day, and walk home with me, she died shorly after that but I never forgot that feeling, so I always tried to make sure that I was there for my three children.

    When they got much older, high school age, I did work full time. Today, I’m retired and wonder how I (we… my other co-workers too) did it all. I worked in retail sales, and the holidays, especially Thanksgiving, comes to mind. The store was always so busy then, we all worked long hours, dinner for seventeen, when the grandchildren came along, was always at our house, I did all the cooking, baking and cleaning, decorating, before and after the holiday, and still managed to go in to work at 6 or 7am for BLACK FRIDAY.

    We women do/did that. What were we trying to prove????? We’re NOT SUPERWOMEN. And in most cases, we are expeceted to be able to keep up that pace our whole lives. Our families expect that of us because. WE taught them to think that way, and my mother before me, because of our actions.

    I believe that we women have to learn to take better care of ourselves, and let ourselves enjoy life a little more. And yes, be more like those mothers that were STAY AT HOME MOMS. Just maybe we would have happier families, that spend more time together and need less of all the material things that we have today. They say that our generation is overweight, I think that just maybe we, especially as little kids, are constantly trying to fill that empty place inside of us. That empty place that can only be filled by the feelings we get from the love and the closeness of family and friends and GOD.

    I sure did ramble on….didn’t I…..but this post of yours and the comments it produced, stirred up a lot of thoughts, feelings and emotions in me. But hey… isn’t that what good writing is suppose to do????

    Hugs
    ‘D’

  36. Pondside permalink
    May 18, 2010 3:22 pm

    I believe that many of us will agree with you – think as you do.
    We put too much store by what we can buy and not enough by what we know. It’s so sad that some of the skills of our mothers and grandmothers have become subjects for living museums – so many families don’t eat together anymore, let alone worry about teaching a child to set a table.
    I don’t believe that we women have to do it all – that’s a bill of goods that we bought – talk about false advertising!!! We believe that two parents must work full time to provide our children with the necessities of life, even when that means eating fast food, giving our children to day care to be raised and building giant homes that stay empty most of the day. If we’ve chosen to have children we have a responsibility to give them a home life that will prepare them for adulthood – a place where they can learn social skills, life skills – a haven.

  37. May 19, 2010 4:48 pm

    That’s exactly why I told my husband to take the computer mouse to work with him. I seem to be a bit addicted to reading about all these great things women do instead of doing them myself. I kept the mouse today for a special post but it’s going with him agian tomorrow!

  38. May 20, 2010 10:30 am

    Lovely post. I always regret not asking my grandmother more questions. My mother (bless her) worked so much. She never really taught me things like gardening and cooking and sewing. So, I am trying to learn these things in my 30s. If I ever have a daughter, I hope that I will be able to teach her “homemaking” even though I will probably work outside the home as well. I also wanted to let you know that you won my giveaway of the little terrarium. So, please email me your mailing address
    michelle@vintagejunky.com

    Have a great day!
    Michelle

  39. May 20, 2010 11:40 pm

    Wonderful post! I agree completely with what you have said! I am so happy to have found your lovely blog, you are an inspiration! Best wishes, Carla.

  40. May 21, 2010 8:57 am

    Hello!

    Just popping in from new friend friday. This was a lovely post!

  41. May 21, 2010 4:53 pm

    As much as I love my digital camera, there is something to be said about the old pictures we have. I love looking through the old pics I have too…the stories they seem to tell.
    Repaying the visit…thanks for stopping by earlier.

  42. May 21, 2010 9:45 pm

    Oh Dear Deborah… First thanks for joining us at Friday~~finding beauty… Oh my and what beauty you have shared.

    You are stunning and you have been told again and again about sharing your heart.

    You are such an inspiration and some day I hope to grow up to be just like you… LOL (I am probably older than you:)

    Hugs GF

    Claudia ♥ ♥

  43. May 22, 2010 1:18 am

    Coming straight over from New Friend Friday! So glad I did! This post is lovely and so well written! LOVE it! Leaving now to read more! I am a new follower and I WILL be back!

  44. May 22, 2010 5:01 pm

    What a beautiful and true post, I feel the exact same way. I have pillowcases on my bed that I embroidered. I love to sew, I made all of my Granddaughters dresses until they reached the age they had to have bought ones. I love to bake and taught my 3 sons to cook and clean, they need to know how to take care of themselves also. I have one DIL that never learned to cook and doesn’t want to, so my son does.
    I am so glad I came by your blog. I too will be back.
    Molly

  45. May 22, 2010 10:36 pm

    Wow,, I was so honored to get home tonight to see such a wonderful note at my silly blog and the invitation to come here.. I’m truly honored and touched by your kindness .
    I am not concerned with trying for the giveaway, I fear I will upset a few as I received an award this week and a tag thing to do but, I have no real clue how to do them as I never have before. Not only that we were soooo busy making a delivery trip to retailers with our cards that I am just tonight back to my blogging. I only look for friendship through this bloggining adventure.. It is such an Awesiome gift from God,,to me it is a BLESSING from Him.. So I am thrilled and excited and even put your button on my blog.. I will also become a new follower,, plus together in this beautiful and usuallycrazy world following Our Lord and Savior .
    Your note brought smiles to my tired night,,I told my Hubby about it and just had to come leave you a note back.. It is my hope we can get to know each other better along the path with Christ as our Guide..
    Sorry for rambling on so much.. May you all have a BLESSED Sunday ..
    Big Hugs from Iowa~~~Dena

  46. May 23, 2010 11:46 pm

    Absolutely beautifully written post! I just recently decided to stay at home with my son. I am so excited to learn how to cook. (because I too was taught how to use a microwave) and there are so many points you made that really hit home to me. I am so glad you discovered my blog, and in return I am so glad to have discovered yours! I hope you have a wonderful day!

    http://thewhitebluesky.com

  47. May 26, 2010 7:44 am

    Dear Deborah, this is another great post from you & I totally agree. My own mother is that Gram you are referring to & I’m so blessed that I had her as a role model. She was a stay at home mom who was always there for us & that gave me such a sense of security growing up. That I wouldn’t trade for anything. I never bought into Women’s Lib movement when I was growing up either & still don’t. Now, everyone is finally seeing that we can’t have it all and do it all. Something has to give & it’s families that are breaking down and falling apart.

    It seems to me that some of our younger generation ARE getting more interested in home making and taking care of their families like the older generation did & for that I’m hopefull. Maybe with these hard economic times that we are facing, many will get back to the basics & see what is really important in life.

  48. May 26, 2010 9:45 am

    Wonderful post! I feel the same way, even the how it influences our “beauty.” Homemaking isn’t what it used to be and requires skills that are fading away.
    ☺ Celeste

  49. May 26, 2010 10:03 pm

    This is so sweet .

    You know what’s funny, my Grandmother did teach my Mom many of the lost arts of home, but the only memories I have of my Mom teaching me involved how to earn money. Academic education was paramount, at the expense of any depth of purpose for the effort, it’s own little false idol. I admired my Mother’s intellect, but what I wanted, what I miss, is what she didn’t share.

  50. May 28, 2010 11:20 am

    Deborah, thank you so much for your comment on my blog. And THANK YOU for directing me to the post. Not only is it true, but it is oh-so-beautifully expressed. I feel blessed to have had the privilege to read it and to enter into your world a little bit. Are we not so blessed to have a heritage that we can look back to and a future that we may look forward to? Blessings to you and yours. (By the way, I’m going to look again but could not see where I could become a follower. I would love to!)

  51. Jennifer permalink
    May 28, 2010 1:48 pm

    finally, a chance to comment!
    i loved this post; I think you stated most of what the majority of women feel. some ladies and I were discussing just the other day how wonderful it would be to start up a local quilting bee; time to spend in the midst of women who really know the craft, but mainly just to slow down and gain some insight and wisdom.
    my mom worked when I was in school; she worked AT a school so she was always home when we were, but she finally gave that up after I graduated and became so much more of what she wanted to be! she could have a clean house when my brother came home from school and dad arrived home from work; she learned to love cooking from scratch.
    i love…LOVE being at home with my kids; not having it “all”…not being so “well rounded” as many of my working mom/friends are, but truly soaking up life and what truly matters to me. in that way, even though the money might not be there, I truly do have it all. I plan on homeschooling, but even if the boys do enter public school someday, I would still stay home so they could come home to a peaceful environment and milk and cookies. 🙂 that’s where my heart is!

  52. May 29, 2010 7:26 am

    Beautiful post! Bring on the weather-worn wrinkles, gray hair and work-roughened hands. If ever there was a hero it was my grandmother. Her work was important and I’m striving to follow in her footsteps – which is nearly impossible. Thank you for inspiring us all to try harder, do better and be diligent.
    Lovely!

  53. May 31, 2010 6:02 am

    Wow. I agree.

    Somewhere along the way, we lost the appreciation for having someone at home full time to keep everything organized and create an atmosphere of peace and comfort. We are all suffering as a result.

  54. June 5, 2010 9:12 pm

    I really love this post. It is very simply and gently put. Beautifully written. I’m glad I came upon it.

    Hallee

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